Tag: Placement

Care Management, Healthy Living, Uncategorized

Top 3 Ways to Reconnect with Parents After 80

Top 3 Ways to Reconnect with Parents After 80

I am very blessed to have a close relationship with my parents my whole life. As they aged our relationship changed but was still so much of a blessing. What I found is that the need of my parents hasn’t changed even though I am a parent myself. There are things that my parents can only give me that no one else is able. Whenever I feel sick I want my dad to rub my tummy. When I want to celebrate they are still the first I want to call.

Now I realize that not everyone has the same relationship I have had with my parents. However, one thing I am aware is that many feel a shift with their parents at age 80. The parent begins to need the child. In my case my mother’s need came in the form of feeling lost without her spouse after his death. Suddenly things she had always handled as a “we” were difficult. We first navigated those things together. Many of the things my father had managed or decisions they would make were out of my wheelhouse. We would decide together what was best for her now and then what would they have done together. This happened dozens of times.

Then my mother had to navigate life on her own. As she navigated this new life as a single woman in her late 70’s I navigated ways to help her and reconnect with her in a special way. I share these special ways with you right now.

  1. Fold your parents into traditions. I am a mother with children in elementary but most adults that have parents over 80 have families that are grown and have their own grandchildren. Meaning that the parents are not as integrated in the special things in their life. While you are disconnecting from your parents, your parent’s world is becoming smaller. They are worrying more about doctor’s appointments. Aches and pains concern them more than staying active and engaged. Additionally, vision and hearing are beginning to limit their ability to stay connected with peers in the same way. An easy way to help parents and reconnect is to blend the senior parents into your special traditions. My mother comes over on Christmas Eve and stays the night so she can watch our children open their presents. We have family movie night and at least once a month she is invited to attend. She has shared these traditions allow her to have things to look forward to and that keeps her feeling relevant and involved.
  2. Call your parents for no reason. Many families find that with all of this technology they simply do not take the time to call someone “just because”. Yet the just because calls are awesome. If you really want to give a special meaning and connection do this call on a set day of the week. And do not make the call about you. Ask you parent(s) how things are going. Find out what they may need help with and if there are things you can help solve. Telling a parent about your own struggles is also huge. Let them lend you sage advice.
  3. Plan a special time together that includes your parents at least annually. My parents were always involved in one weekend getaway a year. When my father died my mother became involved in our Spring Break tradition. My parents would talk about looking forward to this special event all year long. When my father died my mother said planning for that trip helped keep her positive. The time will benefit your family as well as your parents. I often have my mother get asked questions about her childhood from my children so that the heritage she comes from can be passed down to them to appreciate.

Whether you were close to your parents or not these 3 simple things will help you stay connected or reconnect with your parents.

Lisa Doyle is a Registered Nurse who has worked in geriatrics most of her career. She works as a care manager and placement navigator in Washington state. Helping families navigate the world of long-term care. She provides support and family mediation when a family is unsure what to do next. She founded CayCare in 2005. Lisa has worked with traumatic brain injuries, spinal cord injuries and dementia. She has worked closely with clients who have Multiple Sclerosis, Strokes and Parkinson’s as well. To learn more about what Lisa and CayCare does go to www.caycare.com

There are also specialty courses available online for planning ahead before seeing an elder law attorney. She also teaches facilities how to best work with seniors and their families. To purchase one of her courses, go to www.caycare.com/ondemand

Uncategorized

What You Need to Know About Elder Care Referral Agencies

From sprawling retirement communities with hundreds of residents to adult family homes with only a few, the options for senior living are endless. Working alone, most people will be overwhelmed with the choices available and will pick something because it is close or familiar, later discovering that it does not meet their needs. Finding the right placement is important for the success of the senior and due to the high need for assistance, referral agencies have become a popular service business in recent years. Simply because any Tom, Dick, or Harriet tells you they can help with placement, doesn’t mean they are following the laws that regulate placement agencies.

As much as we would like to believe that everyone has the best of intentions, unfortunately that is not always the case. A reputable agency will ensure that they are following the laws set out by the Elder and Vulnerable Adult Placement Referral Agency Act (RCW 18.330) providing you, as the consumer, information about their agency and the communities or care providers they are referring.

You will read and sign a Disclosure of Services statement that includes agency and client information, details regarding the fee to be received (and refund policy) for the referral, a description of the services provided, and frequency of facility tours by the agency. Included will be contact information for the Office of the Attorney General if a complaint needs to be filed.

They will use a standardized intake form for each vulnerable adult, which is covered by healthcare confidentiality laws (HIPAA). These questions may be asked by an agency staff member who will ask about your recent medical history, diagnoses, medications, and health concerns. They will inquire as to why you are seeking services and will want to know about the current living situation, as well as if assistance is needed with activities of daily living and if there are any behavioral concerns, dementia, or developmental disabilities.

The intake process also requires a basic understanding of the current financial situation, preferences on location, and other issues that are important to your specific situation. Referral agencies operate on a private pay basis with the senior or their family. If you are on Medicaid or Medicare, a referral agency cannot collect a referral fee for services covered by Federal or State health care programs.

Within 30 days of making a referral, a referral agency must inform you if any of the referred facilities or agencies is in enforcement (violation of RCW or WAC) status.  Referral agencies are required to keep records of all services provided to clients for at least six months, to maintain at least $1 million of general and professional liability insurance, and they are mandatory reporters. They are required to perform a criminal background check every two years on owners, operators, and employees who have contact with vulnerable adults.

When it is time to seek out housing or care, you will benefit from the experience of a referral agency. Having experts in your corner will reduce your stress and save you time. Knowing what to look for in a referral agency, will help you find the best results.

Learn more about the Elder and Vulnerable Adult Referral Agency Act 

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ASRP of WA